Good Day.

Its been 10 days since my husband left. I love him and I miss him so much. I finally got a letter from him today. He is having a good time where he is. My husband, U.S. Marine. I miss him, but time has been flying. I am trying to keep myself busy, but I am just now starting to get over the cold that me and the kids caught a few weeks ago. I am getting more energy everyday. I have TRIED changing alot of my bad habits with food. I have been avoiding Soda, chips, fast food, etc. Today I did cheat and eat a philly cheesestake sub from charley's when I went to the mall. I feel bad that I cheated tonight, but I have been down and it is hard to change alot all at once. I have been eating alot more veggies instead of junk. Tonight I wanted chips, so I ate sliced green bell pepper with some of my favorite seasoning, Everglades Seasoning with no MSG, It's not the same but it was satisfing. All I really want is that crunch and salt. I haven't went back to see my trainer again. She probably thinks I am never coming back, lol. I haven't had anybody to watch the kids. My BFF is busy tomorrow, so maybe if she gets back early she can watch Tristan. Alyssa went to stay at her grandparents house for a day or so. I went to the mall tonight with friends tonight. They are expecting a baby, sooooo excited for them. I just hope all goes well with it and they deliver a healthy baby. I am a downer because it is hard for me to say "WHEN the baby gets here" instead of "IF the baby gets here safely." I know the statistics on stillborns and miscarriages all to well. I hate that my mind goes to that everytime instead of being ignorant like I used to be, before my angel, Dominic was born still. I never dreamed that a baby could die in our day in age before they were born. I knew it could happen, but not as often as it does. "Stillbirth is a relatively common, but often random, occurrence. The mean stillbirth rate in the United States is approximately 1 in 115 births, which is roughly 26,000 stillbirths each year, or on an average one every 20 minutes." -Taken off of Wikipedia. Who coulda thunk it? Not me. Moving on, I don't want to dwell on the past. I love my son, but he is with Jesus now, I can't change that. I will see him again one day. Until then, Dominic needs me to take care of his brother, sister, daddy and mommy. We need to be here and living our life. Well, Good Night All.